I consider deleting it often, but feel myself paralyzed in fear at the thought of it. I can't bear the thought of not being able to contact people in the blink of an eye, see what someone's wedding looked like, what their children look like, or where they've been on their latest vacation.
What's worse is that when I look at these pictures, I feel nothing. I'm supposed to be "connected" to these people, but who am I kidding? Most of us don't have a relationship, maybe never did, but for some reason I "care". And my question to that is "whhhhhhhyyyyyyyy?!"
I realize I'm nosy. I like to see what other people are up to, and being so far away from my old reality, it's often the only way to stay in the loop. But there's this phrase that keeps creeping up in my brain:
the only people you need in your life are the one's that need you in theirs.
At the moment, we only "need" each other because we've been sucked into the chaotic web that is Facebook and have an uncontrollable urge to spy on each other, and willingly let others spy on us.
I feel like my growth as an individual is hindered because of this - but then, is this where the world is headed? Is this where we've already arrived and will be staying for awhile?
The more I consider it, the more I think I could live without it.
I'm getting rid of the app on my phone, and hopefully can make the official move to delete my account.
Wish me luck!
I went through this exact thing last year, or was it the year before that? Either way, the end result was a deleted facebook account. And honestly? I don't miss it. For me, it was a way to simplify life a little more - I now spend less time on my computer/phone with it deleted - and since then, I've put more time into building better relationships with those people who I already had decent friendships with. It almost turned into a "better to have a handful of really GOOD friends than a hundred acquaintances". That's just how it's been for me! - Either way, we need to start staying in touch more!!! Maybe a skype date?? You can meet the newest member of our family ;) Hope all is well in Norway. Miss you! XO
ReplyDeleteMary, I completely agree with you! I'm honestly just so tired of keeping up with everyone else's stuff that I waste my own life...AND I often feel that facebook is the ONLY thing to do on the internet - so not true! There are WAY better and more fulfilling things out there!
DeleteThanks for sharing your experience....I'm doing it!!!
We do need to stay in touch more...I check your blog for new posts to see what you and your little family are up to - congrats on the newest addition! She's perfect.
I'd love a skype date when you have a chance. :)
Yay! I have no doubt you'll be happier without it. Although, the first week without it was weird... I really got a sense of how addicting it was. But it was all worthwhile :) my skype name is murrjohnson
DeleteI think maybe just refocus what you use it for. I use mine to stay in touch with family and friends back home and to get in touch with other expats in Bergen, lots of get togethers are arranged through Facebook. Also to follow other Bergen goings on, not that I get to go to much.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, maybe a friends list cull to trim the fat out of your newsfeed would make you feel better about it. Nobody can really have over 500 friends can they??? I don't Like that many pages either, I like keeping it simple.
Love this post! Very true, however, I agree with Tammy. When you live abroad life gets busy, you dont have time to be in touch with true friends across the world as much as you would like. But having the option of a quick click and not a whole email does make it easier. I tend to use it for family and friends that don't live close. Also, ALOT of social events do get organised through FB in Bergen. However, after reading your post I think I need to cull my list a bit more and step back a little during my summer break too:)
ReplyDeleteI can't help thinking about when I moved from America to Norway (to be with my Norwegian Prince Charming) way back in 1989...
ReplyDeleteThere were no cell phones, Skype, Twitter or Facebook! I was completely cut off from my friends and family in the States, unless that is I wrote a letter, waiting weeks for one in return or won the lottery and could make a phone call.
All I'm saying is think about it... Do you really want to cut all cords?
I'm sure there must be someone on Facebook worth following and just cut out the people who aren't.
Best of luck, I'm sure you will make the right decision, for you!
I see what you're saying, but I don't think I'd be cutting all cords. I still have Skype, and I'm collecting email addresses for people I want to stay in touch with. The thing is, we're not actually communicating via facebook - we're just generally looking in on what they are doing. I would much rather have a meaningful email every once in awhile than constantly wade through everything on Facebook. Plus, I've had it for 7 years now - I want to see what life is like without it.
ReplyDeleteThats true.
ReplyDeleteI guess I just feel like a kid in a candy store these days, with all the different ways to still feel at home, even though I'm so far away...
ps
My daughter was born in the US but grew up here. After two years at Bergen Uni, she transferred to a college in W.Va. She married an American and now lives there with her husband and TWO children.
That is my biggest draw to Facebook...pictures and little tidbits of all they do everyday... (you're not there yet)
I enjoy your blog, sometimes you remind me of myself...twenty years ago!
I really like for keeping up with people I truly care about, but it's gotten out of control with 500 friends. And I've tried to cut down my friend's list only to find myself looking at their profile and thinking I can delete them later...
ReplyDeleteI'm just on it TOO much - we need a break. I was thinking if needed, I'll make a new facebook and sort of "start over" in the future.
Thank you, I take that as a big compliment, coming from you! Maybe I'll write a book one day, too. :)
Live her for twenty years and I'm sure you'll have a lot to write about too... Thanks for the compliment!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand - was seriously considering closing mine down a while back but just stopped visiting as often and unsubscribed to several people.
ReplyDelete