Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I do or I don't, I will or I won't

Is there a good time to be unromantic when it comes to weddings? How do you separate thinking with your head or your heart and is one more important than the other?
As women we're taught (at least in America) that our wedding day is the most important day of our lives. We're also tricked into believing that we really 'need' certain things to make this day perfect - that includes the perfect dress, the perfect hair, the perfect venue, the perfect shoes...the list is endless but not necessarily part of reality. I suppose it actually depends on the reality in which you live, and they way you perceive your big day to mesh with real life.

I think this is where I get confused.
What is 'real life' right now? What's most important right now? Currently, I'm planning a wedding. An international wedding. In addition, I'm also planning a big move. A big international move. The logistics of the two is making my eyebrows furrow in annoyance.
Here's why:
Weeks after the wedding I will be moving overseas.
With a wedding (my wedding, specifically) comes a name change which accompanies lots of paperwork and time given for bureaucratic nonsense.
Since I will be moving overseas, I will need an updated passport, a matching social security card and driver's license, plus name change documents and a slue of other things. All of these things take time to get, and require a marriage (or A LOT of money that I refuse to spend) in order to kick start the process.
We have a grand total of 3 weeks between the wedding day and the moving day. Definitely not enough time for any of that before we go.
There might be a solution, however.
A visit from my sweetheart in April provides us with ample time for..............get ready for it.........a civil ceremony. By having a civil ceremony in April, we could have ALL of that paperwork completed by the time we have the church wedding, and maybe even get the visa paperwork started in Norway.

I despise how logical this is.

The words "logical" and "wedding" just don't go together! (I'm a little sad that I actually wrote that because of how silly it sounds, but it's true!!) As a woman that grew up in America, it's almost justifiable to say that when it comes to weddings, you throw logic out the window. I mean, check this out:
Where's the logic in spending thousands and thousands of dollars on ONE day when you are planning on having a whole LIFETIME with the person you're celebrating with? That money could be spent on much more appropriate things!

See? Logic disappeared long ago but is suddenly rearing it's ugly head into my life. I don't know whether to welcome it or climb up the tallest building and throw it off the rooftop never to be seen again.

I want the day I planned to get married in my white dress to be the day I get married, not any other day. I want to look stunning and I want everyone else that comes to witness the event look fantastic as well. I want to eat cake and I want to dance and I want to drink champagne with everyone that came to share in the day.I want to sign my marriage license looking my best with my new husband and I want someone to take a picture of it all so we remember even when we're old.

But I also want my life after to be a little easier. I want some of the steps of this journey to be behind me so I don't have to stress so much over paperwork, finding a job, learning a new language, assimilating to a different culture, dealing with the police, and figuring out how to get my visa processed. I want some of the weight off my shoulders and some of the pressure out of the situation - and the way to do that is the civil ceremony.

You know, it's funny. Writing the paragraph about what I wanted on my wedding day got me giddy and excited. The paragraph after, the one about the civil ceremony, made me...kinda sad! I guess I feel that the civil ceremony would really take the excitement out of the big day. To use my dad's word: "anti-climatic". Spot on. I might also add "unromantic" to the list. The thing is - the big church wedding will be great no matter what, but I feel like some of the pizazz will be taken away from it.

It comes down to head v. heart/ logic v. emotion.
How do I choose?!!
What would you do if it were you?